"We can see it in the fires across the world, illuminating the reality that everywhere bodies are refusing their enslavement to civilization’s future. We see the monster’s shadow in the strikers in Montreal who refuse the future-oriented appeasement offered by the State and whose attacks have spilled over from a student strike toward social war. We see this also in Seattle, where a mob smashed symbols of capital and law on this May Day. We see it in San Francisco and Oakland where the dispossessed and excluded converge and disperse with an erratic rhythm so as to lay siege to police stations, attack yuppie establishments, burn cars and spread havoc. In New York, we see bodies throwing themselves into the metropolitan abyss so as to snarl and obstruct the unending flows. Across the globe, wild bodies are finding one another and engaging in the timeless conspiracy against the existent. In every nation, they burn, they loot, they sabotage, they maim. The birds continue to fly together, to tear and peck and shred the sinews of a social order they detest."
I don’t know if I’ll make it in this town as long as I originally hoped to plan on. I want my own house somewhere, or one that feels like mine. No house I’ve lived in since Asheville has felt like mine. I’m not sure where I’d go if not back to Appalachia yet, but I’m definitely feeling persuadable. Not any time soon, but not so long from now either. Time isn’t an object anyways. I am about to start making money again this week and I think things will be much better once I’m given back the ability to leave when I feel like leaving. Feeling stuck has never settled well with me, if there’s anything to my personality that’s ever stayed true, that’s it. I’ve started planning a trip to Durham and Atlanta at the beginning of November (going to see Mineral again in atl because the thought of not is too much), and I need to go to the beach before it gets too cold and I need to get to the mountains while the leaves change and hear the clinking of the bricks beneath my feet in downtown Asheville and this year I finally want to play on some orchards and go picking because i still never ever have. The sudden change in seasons has me feeling absolutely strange because I haven’t felt autumn in the air in three years and it feels so familiar yet so disconnected from who I am now versus who I was then, but at the same time feels like home. Anyways I think things will be better soon even if I’m still waking up in the middle of the night with an aching in my gut the same way I was in this town four years ago, some how that seems disheartening and promising at the same time.